Rant Casey
Dear one,
How to even begin? I've known you for a decade, but meeting you in person after crushing on each other for that long felt like spring coming after a long winter. Like coming home. It's cliche, but goddamn - you feel like rest. Like relief. Like a force of nature in the gentlest touch.
It feels so funny how we connected from a distance, slowly circling closer for years. Both feeling curious, feeling shy.
I was so nervous I couldnt sleep the night before I met you in person for the first time. I always get nervous before I see you, but that first time was a special kind of excitement. Would we get on in real life? Would our connection grow?
Seeing you in the airport that first time, I couldn't help holding you, touching you, making sure all of this was real. Even now it feels like the sweetest dream. I couldn't let go, and even now I am still holding you in that moment in my heart, in my mind.
And our first kiss, right there at the baggage claim. How tender. Every time I go to an airport that's the only thing I can think of now.
Being together long distance is hard, but I would do this with you forever. But I'm so looking forward to the day when we don't have to. I hope to never forget or take for granted the gift that your presence, physical and otherwise, is in my life.
Your love is like none I've ever experienced - queer, trans, disabled love that envelops and holds, expands and frees all at once. You're the most beautiful influence on my life and my heart, and you encourage and push and free me to be myself every day. I love you and adore you more than I can ever tell you, endlessly, endlessly.
Somehow it grows and grows. I thought I couldn't love you more than the first instant when you surprised me while I was sitting and waiting for you at the baggage claim, buried in my phone to try to calm my fluttering heart and then looking up to see you there in the flesh, warm and real and HERE. Hearing your whole voice for the first time. But seeing you smile, hearing your laughs, learning your mannerisms and lending you some of mine, holding each other through sickness and grief, traveling and making art together - every new second together and apart with you has made me love you more.
You make being queer and trans and disabled feel good, even when it feels bad. I feel so indescribably lucky to have been able to meet each other where we are (on so many levels) and to continue to love and support each other, grow and bloom and bloom and bloom. I am so, so excited to see where our love carries us as partners and as individuals.
I adore you forever.
Your Good Boy ♡